Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
