Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
