He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
