Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My penis needs a shock collar
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
