Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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