youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
How naked do you want me to be?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
