I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
