i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
