found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize