Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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