I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
i've created a new STD.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
