You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
