Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
