Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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