she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
