I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
