forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
