I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
