I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
