the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
