How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
