Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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