4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
