So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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