No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
