Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
