Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
