We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
