One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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