he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
