im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
