i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
