Please, let me fuck your mom
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
