There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
