she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
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