I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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