Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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