if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
