My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
