I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
