Fine. I'll sleep in my office
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
