I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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