I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
