it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
