Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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