I just cut my nipple shaving
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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