Cold hands, warm shart.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
