mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize