I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
