I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
