we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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