She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
