Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize