WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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