I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
