My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
