I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
They took my balls.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
