Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
