If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
