he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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