Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
