Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
