i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Boobs speak an international language.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
