honey bunches of taint.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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