U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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