woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
